Four Loko: The Chosen Poison

Four Loko started out just like any other radioactive alcoholic energy drink. Sparks, Tilt, what’s the difference? How did it climb the ladder to be the preferred way to puke for today’s youth?

The answer is simple: Danger. Tell a young person that they really shouldn’t do something, and that young person will want to do it. Getting Four Loko banned from stores was the best thing to happen to Phusion Projects. It made their product sexy and exclusive for people who were willing to drink something that would later be recycled as ethanol.

The allure can’t come from anything else. Think about it. Four Loko has no advertising campaign, no celebrity endorsement, no “hot” look and it tastes like Novocain and rotten fruit.

If you are over the age of 25, you probably are a little lost. Four Loko is a drink produced by Phusion Projects. The drink combines caffeine and alcohol with a fruity twist.

On October 8, 2010, nine students between the ages of 17 and 19 became ill off the drink and had to be hospitalized. One student registered with a Blood alcohol level of .30 and almost died.

Since then, distribution of the product has been banned in dozens of college campuses and distribution centers. As of November 19, 2010, distribution of the drink has been banned in New York. Legislation has been brought to President Obama to ban the drink altogether in the state of New York. 

Immediately after the announcement, there was a black market created for the product. People have already started selling “collectable” cans on Craigslist and eBay for more than five times the regular selling price. The seed had been planted. 

After the story broke out, dozens of people were flocking to the local bodegas in order to grab boxes of this magic suicide elixir. They had to experience the life-threatening buzz that they had heard about all over the internet.

I can only speak for myself, being an indestructible 22-year-old, that I saw the drink as a challenge. I personified the drink with a stumbling Iggy Pop covered in puke and regret. I saw it as legal cocaine in a can. I looked at the drink and saw the mouth of the can laughing at me knowing I wasn’t cool enough to even finish two sips. I wouldn’t take that lying down! I braced myself, drank the whole can, and slowly laid down in a bath tub.

Danger is essential in the life of an 18-23 year old. We are positive we can’t die so we must spend every night proving it to annoying 30-year-olds who have “given up on the dream” or “gotten married” or “landed a job”. You know how cool war veterans sound when they tell stories about facing death? We want those stories! We just don’t want to have to go farther than the corner.